| new livejournal. |
[Wednesday
March 11th, 2009 at 4:33pm] |
if anybody uses this anymore, i've got a new one. i'm starting over.
x3belle. add it. :)
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| AHHHHHHH |
[Monday
November 6th, 2006 at 7:29pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 frustrated |
] |
everything is so FRUSTRATING AND STRESSFUL.
my brother is back in fucking jail. i'm so mad at him i can't even handle it.
things are such bullshit.
i'm just angry at my brother and my life and i want to do something to change it, something needs to change, get better. and i want to see him because he makes me feel so much better, but i can't. and i'm scared to let him know how much he affects me because he doesn't show me how much i affect HIM, you know? just some sort of revelation of how he feels, small as it may be, anything to help me along, would be very nice.
i have so much shit to do for school (project & four tests tomorrow, huge test & notebook check thursday, all-county tape due friday) that the things i need to do in my personal life take a backseat and I HATE IT. i need a break to just clear things up! the first monday after marching seasons over and i'm majorly stressed out and agitated. i swear teachers do this shit on purpose.
still lots more to write about, still no time. still not very far on project.
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[Sunday
November 5th, 2006 at 8:45pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 nostalgic |
] |
nothing like procrastination to make me finally update this thing.
i don't really know what to say. a lot's changed. that boy i was trying to like just because i liked him and not cuz i made myself? well i did. make myself, that is. i was being really dumb, i don't know him that well and we never would have worked out. and i stopped liking him very quickly. and i went a while without liking anyone. and then when i was least expecting it, i fell for someone everyone had always expected me to fall for, except for myself. in fact, someone said they think i've always liked him underneath it all, which i know isn't true but i found it interesting. i am surprised i never realized how great he is and how great we are for each other before, but it seems like everyone else did. we'd be good for each other. we have a lot in common but enough diffrences too. problem is, one of the things we have majorly in common is that we're both scared and insecure, especially him. he may like me, i'm not sure, a lot of times i feel like he does. but i'm afraid he wouldn't do anything about it even if he did. for now, it's sort of okay because he makes me soo happy just being his friend, just getting to spend time with him. just talking to him and having him tease me and realizing all that we have in common and how at home and safe and happy he makes me feel.. it's very nice.
i do get in these moods, though, where i miss not allen but our relationship. friday night i had to go through and delete voicemail messages because my inbox was almost full and i went from 40 to 7 because they were all from allen. and hearing him say "i love you" again that many times made me feel really weird, and then very very sad. because i wish someone still loved me like he did once, i really do. i'm realizing i have truly great friends though. i just can't helping missing how amazing our relationship was, even the little things. and then i feel ungrateful. i almost wish i didn't know what i was missing, you know? cuz it kinda screwed me over. i'm trying to get rid of my old expectations, but they're there. i can't help it. after a relationship like i had, how am i supposed to go back to stupid high school dating? i want love back. but i know that i have to realize i may not find love again until i'm older.
but i also know this new person is a new beginning and i rather like it. but the other thing is, it feels like this is right and should have been happening all along. i don't know. all i know is just thinking about him or hearing his name makes me smile, being in the same place as him makes me excited, talking to him makes me giggle like a little girl, being alone with him makes me nervous-happy. and then i call stina hyperventilating lmao.. but seriously. i don't remember ever feeling like this, or maybe it's just been too long. whatever it is, i like it. i like him. =)
there is a LOT more to update on besides my love life but it's almost 9 and i still haven't really started my project so maybe i'll be back later.
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| i suck at internet checkers. |
[Sunday
October 8th, 2006 at 12:11pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 tired |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
bucs game on TV |
] |
i also suck as a person. i had a great weekend, and yet today i can still manage to be sad. i want to talk to allen, i didn't talk to him all day yesterday. but he's not home and i feel guilty taking him off of cloud fricken nine cuz he hung out with her yesterday. what's worse is there was a car accident last night with 8 people from my school. 1 died, 2 are in critical condition (one of the people was in my girl scout troop for years and is in my spanish class), and 4 people are hurt. i feel really sad for them, yet i still feel sad for myself. but i'm alive, i'm not hurt, i've got friends and a lot of things to be grateful for. i just want my old life back, when everything made sense and i trusted people and everything was okay because an amazing boy loved me. but at least i have a life at all, and it's not too terrible. i suck.
maybe i'll feel better if i write about my great weekend and my great friends.
friday night was great, went to latin cafe with stina and people. the bus ride to freedom was soo fun sitting with stina and kasey and stefani.. they're such great friends and we're gonna start hanging out a lot more often. the game was pretty boring for the first half. we did great at the halftime show and so did freedom. the second half wasn't so bad cuz i talked to chris but it was still kinda boring and of course, we lost. bus ride home was fun too, finger game haha.
yesterday was pretty sweet. rehearsal, which was really fun, minus the fact that everyone kept humping me and our harmonies kind of suck lol. afterwards me and fencel went to allison's house for dinner and hung out. then sarah clark came over and we all went to WCI, the marching band competition. tons of nerdy nerdy fun. newsome placed 3rd in their division and 5th overall, they were reaaaaally good. i was so proud of thomas. =) the car rides were a blast too lol.
today i have to write my WHAP essay and do some more stuff.. i don't even know where to start, i'm so confused.
i feel a little better already. hmm. =)
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[Wednesday
October 4th, 2006 at 5:50pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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tired |
] |
see this is weird cuz right now, like 20 minutes later, i'm wavering between still being depressed (usually when i look at her away message or profile) and being determined to be happy. i'm trying, i really am but i'm like not in control anymore i need to get it back. it's hard to focus on school shit when i've got a lot to do in my own life outside of school. whatever i'm bipolar and retarded but i need to talk to someone.
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[Wednesday
October 4th, 2006 at 5:15pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 depressed |
] |
every day i find new reasons to be even more depressed. today i realized that the person number one in my life doesn't have me as number one in theirs. and not just that. i also realized in addition to not being number one in my number one's life, i am number one in no one's life. no one.
i talk to allen about everything and it makes me feel better and worse at the same time. i'm a terrible person. i get angry and jealous when people are happy, especially him. because he's the one that broke my heart and tore my life apart, yet he gets to have someone else, he gets to have that happiness he stole from me, that i'll probably never get back. i hate being angry and jealous when i see happy people, it's terrible and it makes me feel even worse but i can't help it. i should especially be happy that allen's happy, that random people are happy, but instead i get this attitude like "lucky fuckin you." i keep trying to look for the positives but things just keep getting worse. last night things got a lot worse. things are getting worse for a few of the people i love too. and it's like i can talk to no one. allen wavers between being angry at me, being extremely worried about me, and feeling so sorry about what he did to me. and i don't want to do this to him, i want him to be happy because he's got a girlfriend and they like each other. he doesn't need to have his stupid depressed best friend on his mind while he's trying to maintain a new relationship. but i need him. i need someone.
sometimes for a few minutes i can hope everything's going to get better. but then life just slaps me in the face again and i feel stupid for even hoping. but then i manage to do it again later.. i'm afraid i'm seriously clinically depressed now. allen thinks i am. but my brother was and damn it i'm not going to be like him.
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| sdgsdgf |
[Monday
October 2nd, 2006 at 6:49pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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depressed |
] |
time is moving really slowly again. and i just want to sleep.
burning questions:
why does everyone suck?
what quality do i posess that makes me impossible to love?
what does he see in HER, of all people, that he couldn't see in me?
why am i not allowed to be happy, no matter how hard i try?
someone show me the part of life that's supposed to make me NOT want to shove a pencil in my temple.
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[Wednesday
September 27th, 2006 at 5:05pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
hungry |
] |
today was a really good day, even though i totally failed a chemistry test and i'm not kidding. i didn't know anything. and allen also got ISS and is in a bad mood. but today was really good. i don't know why. i may be moving on, maybe that's why. i've taken a few more steps. i have an 'interest'. i don't know if i 'like' him or how i feel about allen anymore, but talking to him and getting to know him is nice. if things go places, it's cool. i want to move on, i do. i want to like him. but, i want to like him because it HAPPENS, not because i convince myself that i do just to get over allen. so i'm gonna be smart about it and not push myself or him or my feelings too hard. it's all good ^_^
it's also amazing to still have allen as a best friend. he's still a lot of fun to be around and the best support i have. i dunno where i'd be without him.
also, jew club DEFINITELY put me in a good mood lol. good food and rowdy jews are always a great combination.
i think maybe my medicine was making me all moody and depressed. i dunno. that's really not me, that's not my life. i don't have that sad existence where i live to sleep.. i don't want to be a raging apathetic with kasey anymore. i don't like being bitter at all. i ran out of medicine and now i feel much much better. if it wasn't my medicine, then it was something in the water. i dunno. but basically, that whole wallowing in my misery (for that long) is not me and i'm going to blame it on chemicals lol.
i'm gonna go have a snack, then work out lol. gotta keep up the sexy!
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| so sick, so sick of being tired and oh so tired of being sick |
[Tuesday
September 26th, 2006 at 8:37pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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depressed |
] |
i don't even know what to do anymore. i wake up and all i want to do is sleep. i just count the hours til i can get to a boring class and sleep or get home and sleep. i'm in a terrible funk and something's gotta happen for me to get out of it. i'm trying my hardest to help myself, but i don't know what to do. i'm trying to look for positives, but i don't have much to keep me going. time is going so unbelievably slow. i feel like i'm just waiting for something big to happen. i'm not very strong, you know. i don't know how to be alone.
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| weiiiiiiiiiiiiiird moodiness |
[Saturday
September 23rd, 2006 at 6:48pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
NOSTALGIAAAA |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
taking back sunday- there's no 'i' in team |
] |
why am i always so afraid?
i need to start living in the moment.
stop missing the past, stop being scared for the future.
i'm hungry.
i need food, rehearsal/music showcase players, love. some roses would be nice too.
i need to be refreshed.
i need to find something truly good, or have something truly good find me.
i think i'm going to make some dinner and practice my oboe.
turn some lights on in my house and do some sightreading.
maybe sit by the pool later.
i want to be incredible at something.
i should stop thinking so hard.
it makes me realize how much i want, but don't work hard enough for
and how much i still have to learn.
parents gone for the night
you know what that means!
TOTALLY GOING SKINNY DIPPING LATER
weeeeeeeeeee
that's it. i've officially gone insane
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| kill me while i still believe that you were meant for me.. |
[Saturday
September 23rd, 2006 at 5:46pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 shitty. |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
brand new- play crack the sky |
] |
a lot has happened.
short overview:
-allen broke up with me. he just doesn't love me anymore, simple as that. it killed me for a few days, but i can feel myself getting a little better already. extremely slowly. but i can feel it. yes, we're still friends and yes you probably will see us still walking together in the hallway and maybe sharing a hug or two. someone who was the biggest part of you doesn't just disappear from your life. he's still my best friend. i'm not mad at him. it's not his fault that i am impossible to love. he's not an asshole and i don't want to make him jealous. he's a great guy, he just couldn't love me anymore.
-i'm sick. really sick. i have an upper respiratory infection.. fevers, puking, sneezing, coughing, the whole nine yards. i had to miss school on friday, friday's football game, and the FSU trip. this weekend has been incredibly depressing. sitting at home, miserable and sick while all my friends have better and more fun things to do than worry about me. i wish i could have gone on the FSU trip or to newsome's homecoming. man, that would have gotten my mind off of everything for a while.
-i really love jekyll & hyde. what a great show. the music is so.. i don't even know, there aren't words. but i love it. the story is really intense (michelleword). i got a really small part, but it's a part, and i have the opportunity to audition for another one, a little bigger. i just really hope i get it. i was starting to gain some more confidence but i kinda got shot down.
-i started a diet. my grandparents lost a ton of weight on it, so my mom suggested we do it. i was a little iffy, but then my grandpa said he'd pay me $10 for every pound i lost in the first month, and if i lost 10 pounds in the first month, then he'd pay me $15 a pound the second month. my jewishness took over and so yeah i've been doing really well. i've lost 7.5 pounds in two weeks. some of it i'm sure is due to being sick and puking and all, but 75 bucks is 75 bucks. so yeah, i'm excited.
-this year is probably going to be the first year in a while i don't get straight A's. as of right now, i have a B in chemistry and algebra. they're both high and going up, but man is it hard. i'm really stressed all the time.
i feel like more has happened but i dunno what exactly. my life is upside-down and i feel weird. really weird. i've been going through extreme moods. either miserable or hopeful (the former for the most part.) but always, i feel extremely, suffocatingly alone. like, before, when something bad happened, it was okay, because allen still loved me and i'd talk to him soon and he'd make me feel better and he'd wipe away my tears and hold me and it'd all be okay in the end. but i don't have that anymore. it feels like i don't have anything.
i've got lots of pictures that i haven't put on here for a while, but they were from better times. so i'll put them on here when better times return. they will. i just don't know when or how.
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| so yeah. |
[Tuesday
August 22nd, 2006 at 3:34pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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sick |
] |
| [ |
music |
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songs for a new world- "the world was dancing" |
] |
i've been really busy. i don't know why, cuz sometimes it doesn't look like i have all that much to do, but i pretty much have no spare time.
sophomore year sucks, school-wise. i'm not miserable anymore, but my classes suck and i have like none with any of my friends. and none with allen, that's the worst. and the whole no bulletin thing sucks total ass too. english is overwhelming. and WHAP has homework every night (usually not hard though).
on the bright side.. mr. masson is awesome, so are g-will and sevey.. wind ensemble totally rocks. it's nice to be in a band that doesn't SUCK and people actually care. allen TAs for my english class so i do get to see him. =) and we've been able to hang out a lot lately. =D it's the best. we're only 9 days away!!!!
so i dunno, for a while i was really upset and dreading this year, but mostly it's gotten easier, except for english. which is my fricken best subject.
first game on friday. we are going to suck.
lots of fun parties lately though. amber's sweet 16 was awesome. danced ALL NIGHT. =) becca's going away party was (obviously) bittersweet, because it was fun but i miss her so bloody much. annie's party was the same, but more extreme. it was AMAZINGLY fun until people started leaving and then we all started crying because that was saturday and becca moved sunday. (pictures later.) i haven't cried that hard in a while. i miss her a lot.
we started jekyll & hyde saturday. i think it's a great show but really difficult, and miguel's crazy for doing it at the same time as high school musical (which i'm DEFINITELY not doing). and i'm also really nervous cuz there's really only two female parts. and i dunno which one i want to be. and he's not triple casting. and there's a lot of girls. and i'm sick. and auditions are saturday. and some people know the show really well. and i don't. and i'm ranting but I'M NERVOUS and I REALLY WANT A PART IN THIS SHOW!!! and i think miguel's mad at me.. =/
yeah being sick sucks. everyone is. i'm going to sleep when i'm done with this.
well anyways. of course, here are the pictures from annie's party.
( mhmmm )
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[Wednesday
July 26th, 2006 at 8:46pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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tired and i miss allen. |
] |
| [ |
music |
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danny sinoff quartet- straight no chaser |
] |
randomly went on vacation to sanibel island with my parents. they woke up at 9:30 sunday and were like "hmmm.. let's go." we got there at 4 lol.
so yeah it was awesome actually.
minus the whole missing allen to death part.
still do.. he's either coming home tomorrow or friday.. =/
sunday: got there at 4, checked blah blah blah.. laid on the beach for a little bit and i took some pictures. I HAVE TAN LINES!!! YEAH. ME! went out to dinner at this place called McT's. my food was great but my parents hated it and my mom swears she saw a cockroach. so we went to the restaraunt & jazz bar that was in the hotel grounds called ellington's for dessert.. it was amazing! the jazz was so unbelievable that we bought their CD. they signed it for us and the bass player and piano player/singer came to talk to us. they were so cool. especially danny sinoff, the piano player/singer. he was only 24 and was quite good-looking.. ^_^ and he was really nice and really talented.. he should have been born 100 years ago to be his age now in the 1920's. he seriously looked, talked, acted, and played like he just stepped out of a time machine. his voice was amazing and he played incredibly! it was pretty inspirational as far as music goes. =)
monday: lunch at this place called gramma dot's. mmm. then we went to this place to go canoeing and it sucked. i hate canoeing and so does my dad, but my mom wanted to. we turned around and went back after half an hour lol. later we went on a sunset cruise and got some great pictures, and then to dinner at this amazing italian place called dulce vita. the piano player took requests and did "come rain or shine" by frank sinatra for me. ^_^
tuesday (yesterday): woke up early and went fishing in the gulf. my dad was the only one who caught anything. >.< ate at this place on captiva called the key lime bistro that was really good. went shopping a little and got a cute bracelet, then went back to nap. well i napped, my parents went shelling on the beach some more. then we went to dinner at ellington's again and listened to the jazz all night. talked to the jay (the bass player) and danny (the piano player/singer) a lot more and had a great dinner. i asked them to do some more frank sinatra for me and they did "my funny valentine" and "come fly with me" and he sang it right to me, it was awesome. =)
today: woke up sort of early to lay out one last time (I HAVE TAN LINES!!!!) and then checked out. went to an awesome art gallery on the way out and got home around 3:30.
so it was pretty great. basically a fun, busy blur of sun, my family, strawberry daquiris, fantastic food, and jazz. all sounds good, huh? only bad thing was the red tide and all the dead fish.. ewww. and missing allen to the point of insanity...
here are the pictures
( all 53 of them. )
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| just thinking. |
[Wednesday
July 19th, 2006 at 11:32pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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gloomy |
] |
| [ |
music |
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coldplay- green eyes |
] |
looking at how an old best friend has changed.
wow lmao.
it's sad how someone can be so condescending who's really not that great in the first place.
you're not intimidating and no one's impressed.
you don't seem cool and independent and original and different and intelligent and mature.
we're not jealous
just cuz you think you do such awesome, mature stuff
and like to tell everyone about it.
believe it or not, it actually makes me and my friends proud that we're smarter about our future and our bodies and our selves than you are.
it doesn't make you look awesome and so different from all other teenagers.
it actually makes you look exactly like all other teenagers,
trying to grow up wayyy too early by doing stuff you think makes you look cool.
enjoy it now, you'll regret it later.
i remember what everyone loved about you was your originality.
i remember the days when you had never even made out with a boy.
and now, look at you.
it's hilarious, in a sad way.
we've all changed, but i'd say you the most.
yeah i probaby sound pretty bitchy. but i'm not really in a bitchy mood, that's just how i feel about her. i miss the old her, i really do.
i need to go on a drive. it makes me feel content.
or see him. i get to tomorrow. =D
5 days is way too long, but hey. life's not fair. i'm slowly starting to learn to deal with it.
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| um |
[Monday
July 17th, 2006 at 9:43pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 listless |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
frank sinatra- the very thought of you |
] |
i don't feel like myself.
i miss the routine of school. but i'm scared i won't have any classes with allen. that would be terrible. i didn't last year but i could see him in between almost every class period and i had lunch with him.
i want to drive. now.
cousins i had never met came today. they were pretty cool. i played marco polo with them for a long time. it was cool. they're only a few months older than me and they're going into 11th grade. >.< but yeah it was kinda cool to spend the afternoon with them.
my dad gets his vacation soon. we're going to a buncha theme parks. =D
1 year is coming closer and closer. =) have to get to 11 months first though.
i miss the playas. i wish i could do songs for a new world. man do i love that show.. my parents suck. =(
band starts up soon. kinda excited. this show is awesome. and i'm gonna show sever that i deserved to be on leadership this year and i'm gonna garuntee myself a spot on it next year. kinda gay that sophomores hardly ever get it. i am not a stuck up or big headed person, but i know i deserved that spot. and i'm gonna prove that to him.
i miss being busy. i need that kinda thing.
edit: YAY! wind ensemble results are up and i made it!!! =D i thought so but now it's for sure.
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| =) |
[Thursday
July 13th, 2006 at 8:21pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
thoughtful |
] |
things are good.
still hard, but i'm being strong and i'm proud of myself.
i got my schedule. next year is gonna be tough, i can tell. but i'm a little excited too. i'm taking driver's ed so i don't have to take the test at the DMV.. and insurance discounts! and health to get that over with. i also think i made wind ensemble.. i was on some list mrs. burkett had so i guess so. however that's gonna be hard as hell because i'm really not that great. =/
i also got my books for summer reading. i wish i wouldn't have procrastinated. 3 or 4 books and a paper on one of them.. in 2 and a half weeks. i can do it but it sucks. at least i'm not like sarah with 5 books to read in a WEEK. gayyy. i'm already getting stressed and school hasn't even started yet.
this may not seem as.. important to you as it is to me. but last night, for what i think was the first time in my life, i felt beautiful. inside and out. having some confidence feels nice. =)
i need to go read more. but i don't really feel like it.
( picture taking fun with el boyfriend-o. )
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| more pictures than i can like fricken handle. |
[Monday
July 10th, 2006 at 3:28pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 drained |
] |
clue actually went pretty well, only because we adlibbed our lovely little asses off. it was hilarious. last night was the best.. i wish i could have been mrs. white that night. lucky aubrey, it was amaaaaaaaaaazing. we watched it at the sleepover/cast party. it was fantastic.
friday night may have just been the best day of my life. =) i have the best friend in the world, and i am a better person because of him. he helps me help myself. i learn a lot.
yesterday was pretty amazing too. lmao.. me and sarah. hahahaha. we went to goodwill and sonic and just had a fricken blast. we think so much alike lmao.. the cast party was pretty fun too. i am way too tired. didn't go to sleep til 5:30.. woke up at 8. went back to bed at 8:30 until 1.. but i'm still exhausted.
sean needs to bring me my purse. it's got my toothbrush and toothpaste.
uh huh. 79 pictures behind the cut so enjoy yourselves.
( CLUE! )
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| poop. |
[Thursday
July 6th, 2006 at 9:56pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
tired |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
clue- she hasn't got a clue |
] |
so yeah. i dunno lol. clue should be.. interesting. lol. we may suck.. or we may just be held together by adlibs. i'm gonna guess a bit of both. i sucked today in dress rehearsal. majorly bad. i'm definitely disappointed in myself. allen gave me a little pep talk and i realized i haven't been giving my all.. or really that close to it. so today i worked my ass off and when i get off of here i'm gonna go work my ass off some more. i wish i had started that way so that i wouldn't have to cram now.. but whatever. you do what you gotta do.
it's a easier now, but it's about to get hard again.
it sucks, but it's not strong enough to affect anything.
it just SUCKS. a lot.
why the fuck can't i drive yet man. my life would be so much easier if i could drive. seriously.
my 4th of july was pretty sweet. went to my neighbor's condo in clearwater with allen and my parents.. basically went to the beach, went to dinner, watched fireworks, and sat in traffic for like 800 years. but it was a great day. haven't been to the beach in FOREVER. since the bio field trip.. and before that, i have no clue.
i also need to go to busch gardens.. NOW.
i'm demanding
so here are pictures i took on the 4th. and a bit of an amusing convo with sean.
( fireworks. )
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| gah. |
[Saturday
July 1st, 2006 at 7:06pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
majorly self-loathing. |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
clue- everyday devices. GAHH FUCKING CATCHY |
] |
so the past few days, two things have been proven to me.
life isn't fair,
and
everything that's worth it isn't easy.
i hate it. i really really do.
i also realized i am really selfish.. not in the 'i love myself' kind of way, definitely not. as in i think of what i want before what others want. that's a terrible quality. i hope it's just cuz yesterday and today mostly sucked. except for last night, last night was pretty good.
yesterday was 10 months. =)
he won't be here for our 11 month anniversary. but i'm trying not to think about that. i spend a lot of time of time dreading the future too.
still not thinking before i speak. stupid stupid stupid.
i hate these flaws. i've been beating myself up about them. and i'm working on them, i really am. but i suck.
i really hate myself sometimes.
so yeah i got my clue dates today. i'm friday night and saturday afternoon. i'd come to saturday afternoon probly, opening nights are usually terrible but i dunno. i'll figure it out.
i'll snap out of this mood, hopefully.
man, has this summer had ups and downs.
edit: in reading this entry, i also realized i really focus on negative aspects. and by saying this, i am also doing so. AHHHH!!!
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| not a picture post! =O |
[Tuesday
June 27th, 2006 at 6:37pm] |
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mood |
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 stressed.. ALREADY! |
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music |
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clue- everyday devices |
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mhmmm. so yep. started clue yesterday. it's nutsss. so cool though, cuz it's like the game. before the show, the audience picks the cards of who did it, with what, and where, and we put them in the confidential envelope. the audience members get the little sheet you get when you play the game to eliminate people and stuff to figure out who it is and you get clues the whole show and stuff.
so yeah, same as almost every time.. i didn't get the part i wanted but, hey, at least i got a part! it's not too bad.. i got mrs. white. the old woman lady who's mr. boddy's maid. she's actually supposed to be played by a man, but we don't have enough and we have too many girls so yeah.. me, brittany, and aubrey play her. her solo is reaaaally high but miguel said he'd transpose for us if need be. oh, and i have to speak in an english cockney accent. so it's all.. no h's at beginnings of words and no t's in the middle and shit. 'ELLO CHAP! I'M A LI'L BIT BRI'ISH! YOU'RE QUITE A WANKAH!.. yeah wish me luck. it reminds me of goldmember.. "ksdsjkfgsgjkh.. tea kettle! and she shat on a turtle!"
this show's pretty sweet though. but hard. so freakin hard. harmonies like MAD! and the script is crazy too cuz you have lines you have to add in depending on what the cards say.. because we don't know either til the audience picks them! it's crazy. should be good though.
tomorrow- allen's coming over! =)
this friday- 10 months. ♥
this sunday- CHICAGO!
next tuesday- 4th of july.
next friday, saturday, and sunday- performances!
hopefully i'll find out my performance dates soon so i can let you know when to come see me.
alright i'm hungry and i smell my mama's cookin
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